Helping your family find support after a loss
When someone important dies, each person in a family may respond differently. A teen might become quiet, a younger child may ask the same questions repeatedly, and a parent may be trying to hold everything together while grieving too. Grief counseling can give families space to understand those differences, communicate more openly, and find ways to cope without rushing anyone through the process.
What grief can look like in children and teens
Grief is a response to loss, not a problem that needs to be fixed on a schedule. It can include sadness, anger, confusion, guilt, relief, numbness, or moments of happiness. Feelings may change from day to day, and they can return around birthdays, holidays, school events, or other reminders.
Younger children may express grief through play, clinginess, changes in sleep, or questions about what happened. They might cry one moment and return to a favorite activity the next. Moving between grief and play does not mean the loss was unimportant to them.
Teens may want more privacy or prefer to talk with friends and trusted adults outside the family. Some become irritable or have trouble concentrating. Others appear to carry on as usual. A teen’s response can reflect their relationship with the person who died, their age, previous experiences, and the support available to them.
Grief can also follow a separation or major life change. For some adopted people, birth parents, and adoptive families, adoption-related experiences may bring feelings of loss alongside love, connection, or gratitude. These experiences are individual and deserve room to be discussed without assumptions.
When might grief counseling be helpful?
Many children and teens find their way through grief with support from family, friends, school, and community. Counseling is another option; a family does not have to wait for a crisis or meet a particular threshold of distress to ask for help.
Consider speaking with a mental health professional if your child or teen:
- Is having persistent trouble sleeping, eating, attending school, or concentrating.
- Withdraws from friends and activities in a way that concerns you.
- Seems overwhelmed by guilt, fear, anger, or distressing memories.
- Has reactions that are worsening or interfering with daily life.
- Says they would like someone outside the family to talk to.
Parents can also seek support when they are unsure how to discuss a death or are finding it difficult to care for a grieving child while managing their own emotions. A counselor can help you think through what your family needs, even if you are not sure whether therapy is the right next step.
For immediate safety concerns: If someone is in immediate danger, call 911. For support during a mental health crisis in the United States, call or text 988. Do not wait for a routine counseling appointment when urgent help is needed.
How grief counseling can support a family
Grief counseling provides a place to talk about a loss and its effects on everyday life. Depending on the child’s age and the family’s needs, support may involve individual sessions, conversations with caregivers, or family counseling. A counselor can discuss appropriate options with you rather than assuming everyone needs the same approach.
Making space for different reactions
A counselor can help family members recognize that one person’s tears and another person’s silence are not measures of how much they cared. Sessions may help children and adults put feelings into words, ask questions, and listen to one another without trying to make everyone grieve alike.
Finding age-appropriate ways to express grief
Talking is one way to express feelings, but it is not the only way. Depending on their age and preferences, a child might use drawing, storytelling, or play to communicate. A teen might prefer a conversation during an individual session. No one needs to share more than they are ready to share in a single meeting.
Building practical coping skills
Counseling may help a young person notice when emotions are becoming overwhelming and practice ways to pause, seek support, or manage difficult moments at school and home. Families can also plan for events that may bring up grief, such as the first birthday or family gathering after a death.
Addressing distressing memories
Sometimes a death is experienced as traumatic, and reminders of the person can bring up frightening images or intense distress. A clinician can assess what is happening and discuss suitable support. Not every grieving child develops a traumatic response, and not every difficult reaction means a child has a mental health disorder.
How to support a grieving teen or child at home
You do not need perfect words to be helpful. Consistent, honest care can give a young person reassurance while your family adjusts.
1. Use clear, age-appropriate language
When a death has occurred, explain what happened in simple, truthful terms. Phrases such as “went to sleep” can be confusing for younger children. Offer information in manageable pieces and let their questions guide what you explain next. It is okay to say, “I don’t know,” when you do not have an answer.
2. Invite conversation without forcing it
Try a gentle opening such as, “I’ve been thinking about them today. Would you like to talk or do something together?” A teen may prefer a walk, a car ride, or a conversation with another trusted adult. If they decline, let them know you are available and check in again later.
3. Keep familiar routines where possible
Regular meals, sleep routines, school, and favorite activities can provide a sense of steadiness. At the same time, allow flexibility when a child is tired or an event feels especially difficult. Returning to an enjoyable activity is not a sign that a young person has forgotten the person who died.
4. Make room for remembrance
Some families appreciate sharing stories, looking at photos, preparing a favorite meal, or creating a memory box. Invite children and teens to choose whether and how they participate. A meaningful remembrance can be quiet and personal; it does not need to look the same for everyone.
5. Connect with supportive adults
With your child’s input when appropriate, consider letting a teacher, school counselor, coach, or another trusted adult know about the loss. They may be able to notice changes, offer a quiet place to take a break, or help your child navigate a difficult school day. Share only the details your family is comfortable discussing.
6. Care for yourself, too
Children do not need a caregiver who hides every emotion. It can be reassuring to see an adult name a feeling and seek support: “I’m sad today, and I’m going to talk with someone I trust.” If your own grief is making daily life difficult, consider reaching out for counseling or support from people in your community.
Finding grief counseling in St. George, Utah
If your family is looking for grief counseling in St. George, Utah, S&S Counseling offers support for individuals, teens, and families. The practice also offers child play therapy and counseling for expectant and birth parents, recognizing that loss can be part of many different experiences.
S&S Counseling has additional offices in Hildale, Hurricane, and Cedar City. When you reach out, ask about the location, clinician, appointment availability, and services that best fit your family’s needs. You can also ask how the counselor involves parents and what privacy and confidentiality mean for a teen’s sessions.
Talk with S&S Counseling
You do not have to know exactly what kind of support your family needs before reaching out. Contact S&S Counseling to ask about grief counseling and discuss a possible next step.
Frequently asked questions
Does every grieving child need counseling?
No. Many children adjust with support from people close to them. Counseling can be helpful when a child wants extra support, when grief is disrupting daily life, or when caregivers would like guidance.
How long does grief last?
There is no single timeline. Grief often changes over time, and feelings can return around meaningful dates or new milestones. Counseling is not about erasing the relationship or setting a deadline for feeling better.
What if my teen does not want to talk about the loss?
Try not to pressure them into a conversation. Let them know you are available, offer choices about whom they might speak with, and keep opportunities for connection open. If you are concerned about their safety or ability to manage daily life, seek professional guidance even if they are reluctant to talk.
Will a parent be told everything a teen says in therapy?
Privacy is an important part of building trust. Before sessions begin, ask the counselor how they handle confidentiality, parent involvement, and situations in which information may need to be shared for safety or other reasons. The answer depends on the circumstances and applicable requirements.
Can counseling help with grief that is not related to a death?
Yes. People may experience grief after separation, changes in family relationships, or other significant losses. A counselor can make space for the meaning of that experience without assuming that every family’s feelings are the same.
Helpful terms
Bereavement: The experience of losing someone through death.
Grief: The range of responses a person may have after a loss, including emotional, physical, and behavioral reactions.
Childhood traumatic grief: A response in which trauma-related symptoms after a death interfere with a child’s ability to cope with the loss and continue everyday activities.